i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
