Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
