I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
