im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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