ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
