If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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