2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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