New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
