what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
