i will never coherently bang her
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
