Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
