even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
