Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
