You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
