Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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