Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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