i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My cat gives me a boner
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
