Are we in a gay sports bar?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
