a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
