So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
