I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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