A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
