I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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