More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We smell like vodka and hangover
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