This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
