she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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