so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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