Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
