just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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