so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
