Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
