Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
