I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
