Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
