It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
