Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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