hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
