I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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