you're like a bully in the Christmas story
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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