I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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