I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize