Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize