We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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