Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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