oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
