i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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