Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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