508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
