i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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