Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize