Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
