Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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