i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
