My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So much Jack, so little girl.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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