Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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