Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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